Thursday, July 7, 2011

Interview with a Manuscript


Plotting and Scheming:
Look at you, all printed out! This is a very exciting day for you, I'm sure.

manuscript:
Yeah, it's good to be here.

Plotting and Scheming:
So are you going to tell us your name?

manuscript:
Not yet. Even though Dawn has a blog where she talks on and on about her writing life, she is pretty private about her work. She's weird that way.

Plotting and Scheming:
Has Dawn started querying agents with you?

manuscript:
No, though I have met a couple at manuscript consultations. They were like really cool yoga instructors, trying to help me become my very best--you know, suggesting where I could trim fat, where I needed strengthening. Once we start querying, I'll need to smile with my first five pages, wink with my first ten, and show a little thigh with my first fifty. I must be in prime shape for that!

Plotting and Scheming:
You're looking pretty good from here. You know, stacked.

manuscript:
*blushing* Honestly, nineteen pages aren't with me at the moment. Dawn and her critique group are still fine-tuning my ending. Yet here I am--most of me--in black and white. Dawn wanted to print me out because she says it's easier to see my flaws on paper at this stage. Kind of unfair, though. She used cheap paper--not what she'd send to agents who ask for hard copies. Also, she tried a cheaper ink, and it really does nothing for me. Our normal ink makes my i's pop.

Plotting and Scheming:
Let's talk fears. Do you have any?

manuscript:
Of course I do! Not what you might expect, though. I mean, in paper form I'm vulnerable to coffee stains and rain, and nobody likes ugly wrinkles. And don't even get me started on paper shredders--they give me the willies. But I don't have to worry about any of those things because Dawn's husband is really good about making sure I'm backed up electronically. My fear...

Plotting and Scheming:
Go ahead. You can tell us.

manuscript:
I fear "the drawer." I've heard of life after drawer, but it's all too scary to imagine--like ghost stories. I'm a virgin manuscript; I've never seen the inside of an agent's inbox and I don't yet know the taste of rejection. I have big plans for myself! I want an A-list agent to laugh and cry in all the right places, to be excited about me, to fall in love with me. I want him or her to see me for all I am and all I can be, to hope to submit me to all the right houses. I want my own Facebook page! I WANT TO BE A BOOK!

Plotting and Scheming:
I think that says it all.

Best of luck to everyone who is stepping into the query waters.
Dream big!

20 comments:

storyqueen said...

"makes my i's pop"
hahahahahahaha!

I am sure you will never end up in the drawer.

Shelley

Molly Hall said...

This is so SO good! I love it! Dear little manuscript, you are going to rock the world! I can feel it! (And Dawn, you are too too funny!)

Laura Barnes said...

This is so awesome. I found you since you commented on my blog: laurabwriter.blogspot.com You earned a follower!

Angelina C. Hansen said...

Clever, clever little writer. Made me smile. What color ink will you use on that hard copy? Will you read it out loud? Are you going to SCBWI LA? Do I ask too many questions?

Jennifer K. Mann said...

Funny lady!! Excellent interview.

Stasia said...

Okay, I just totally love this! You rock, Dawn!

Travener said...

Very clever, Dawn. Always good to start my morning with a laugh. Look forward to seeing that manuscript stacked on a boookstore shelf.

Faith Pray said...

Hilarious! Good, happy, prolific vibes on your word child, Dawn! Way to go!

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Best of luck, little manuscript! We're rooting for you!! :)

Amy

Dawn Simon said...

Thanks for all the nice comments. You are so fun and supportive! :)

Angelina, I use pencil at this point. Reading it out loud is such an awesome idea; it helps me find sounds that are too similar, as well as repeated words and rhythms. Yes, I'll be in L.A. Definitely not too many questions! It's always fun chatting with you, in person or via blog!

Medeia Sharif said...

I hope your manuscript makes it! He sounds likable. I wouldn't want him in a drawer.

Suma Subramaniam said...

Aw! Love you, manuscript already! It appears Dawn has fed you well with many beautiful words.

Good luck at the LA conference. I hope you find a good match for the baby !

Best,
Suma.

Kari Marie said...

OMG you are brilliant. This was delightful.

Paul Greci said...

Great interview! Love the yoga analogy!! And good luck!!!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

ROFL. This is the best interview. Ever. Maybe your ms and my ms can go on a playdate--before they become jaded. :D

Nancy Thompson said...

Great post! Very funny!

I'm drowning in the query waters, have been for months, but my head is bobbing up for a breath every once in a while. I blog often about it.

I can tell you rejection tastes awful, but it toughens you up big time, especially when it's on a request, not the query.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your query and finding the perfect agent. Just remember to never give up

I was excited to see another writer from WA state, so I thought I'd follow you.

Dawn Simon said...

You guys rock! Thanks for the nice comments--they are so appreciated. :)

Nancy, while my manuscript has not yet tasted rejection, I have. I love your advice: never give up! Keep swimming in those waters! It's great you're getting those requests! Congrats! (And I'll check out your blog!)

Natalie said...

Adorable! I hope your little manuscripts sees big success!

Terri Tiffany said...

LOL Love this! Now I feel sad for all mine that are languishing in the drawer!

Robert Guthrie said...

LOVE that your manuscript is the being that it is!