Sunday, June 27, 2010

Unauthorized Guest Blogger: Thistle the Whippet

Before we get started, allow me to share a photo of my beautiful self.

I know, I'm a looker. Plus I'm smart, good with children, and quite athletic. Need I mention housebroken? Yes, I'm all that and so much more.

Mommy (aka Dawn) has been sharing all about her writing life here at "Plotting and Scheming," so I thought I'd take a swing at telling you about my life as a writer's dog. Today's post:

"Plodding and Sleeping."

"Plodding" because Dawn's my running partner (one of us is dead weight, but I'm a gentleman and I won't tell you who...bark/cough: not I) and "sleeping" because it's one of my favorite activities.

Good thing Daddy (Jim the computer guru) wired up a dogputer for me since I have no opposable thumbs and have trouble with things like typing and origami. This is through no fault of my own, of course; nature can be cruel. I'm hoping Jim will sell the technology to Microsoft so he can stop selling--oh, my. I guess I can tell you, Dawn's bloggy friends. Just keep it between you, me, and the nearest fire hydrant. When we go on runs or walks and I "do my business,"
they put it in a plastic bag and bring it home. Horrible, isn't it? My theory: they must be selling it to pay for groceries. I know. So very sad.

Speaking of unfortunate things: each day, I must guard my home and family from the evil squirrels that lurk in the trees, in the bushes, up and down the streets . . . they're EVERYWHERE, I tell you! Even in my nightmares. The worst of them:

Chester eats at least half the bird seed in the feeder. One day last winter, Jim and Dawn didn't notice the bird feeder was empty and
Chester came to the back door and knocked on the glass. True. Story.

Yet Dawn thinks Chester is cute. How will she ever get published with such a soft mind?

Dawn and I write in the den. I lie really still in my dog bed, concentrating so hard the untrained eye might mistake what I'm doing as sleeping. But Dawn knows. I'm creating an atmosphere that allows her to work.

Unfortunately, my sister Pepper often joins us. It's fine if she sits still, but she's a bit of a troublemaker. She likes to bark, and she sometimes chews my face. Here's her picture.

I love her, but she's a few kibble pieces short of a full bag. She likes walks, but can't go on runs. Why not, you ask? If she runs on a leash, she thinks something scary is chasing her. Again, true story. Even though we're littermates, I moved in with the family two years after Pepper did. She was normal as a puppy, so I wonder if something traumatic happened before I got here. My guess: the squirrels got to her. Either that or she breathed in too much catnip at PetSmart.

It's summer now, which means Kid #1 and Kid #2 are around more often to scratch and cuddle me. Dawn doesn't always notice when I need an ear rub, but the kids are on top of things like that. The kids are my best friends. They're way more fun than Jim and Dawn.

I better end this post so I can get an e-mail out to Obama. The dogputer seems to be coming apart and I just thought of a health care solution that will make everyone happy. And world peace! I think I know how we can achieve--

*transmission ends*


Nicole MacDonald said...

We have antichrist-hedgehogs at our place.. according to Sable & Otis

Anonymous said...

aww wonderful post!! hehe sorry Thistle, I'm still Team Chester :o)))

Jemi Fraser said...

Thistle - you're a delightful addition to the doggyverse... um, make that bloggyverse. Sorry.

Keep up the fine work - we could use that world peace! :)

Suma Subramaniam said...

Thistle, I'e fallen in love with you already, and needless to say, you'e found a fabulous mom in Dawn.

Lydia Sharp said...

I *heart* Thistle. :)

Alissa said...

Thistle is a great blogger! My dog Jack cannot sit still long enough to write a blog post, plus I think he has a touch of ADD so he might get distracted by the UPS man, a cat, or a piece of lint on the ground.

Andrea Mack said...

Plodding and sleeping - a good way to describe what happens during my writing process sometimes. Plod, plod, plod along. Stop to rest. Do some more plodding. But there's that one other part where a really good scent comes along, and the story takes off (let's hope Thistle never does that!)

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I feel like a few Kibbles and Bits short of a full bag too. And Chester the Evil Squirrel? I think you have the makings of a children's series here. Just put a cape on Thistle and give him a dogcave and dogputer and you're good to go.

Stephen Tremp

Susan R. Mills said...

Cute post! Sounds just like my dog. He's lying on the floor right next to me--sleeping of course.

SWK said...

In LOVE with THISTLE! My secretary, Benny, is a bit jealous of the dogputer though. He's asking if Jim can rig up one at our house :) Stasia

Jennifer Shirk said...

Too cute, Dawn! Thistle should become a regular blogger here. LOL

Molly Hall said...

Ha ha ha! Nice work, Thistle... you are a true gentleman with a comedian's flair! ; )

Dawn Simon said...

You guys are cracking me up! Thanks for the comments. :)

Lydia Kang said...

This was so funny! How does he like the mousepad? Is it a cat-pad for him? Does he attack it?
And I have to say, I think I'm team Chester too.

Anonymous said...

Very cute! And down with the evil squirrels!

Phoenix said...

Dear Thistle,

This is Mocha, Phoenix's cat. Normally I'm not on Team Whippet if you know what I mean but I agree that squirrels are what's wrong with America and maybe we could put our heads together and come up with some sort of Eliminate Chester plan. Like you, I'm also furry, gorgeous, well-behaved, and brilliant. I occasionally have to resort to leaving fur-ball barf on my owner's favorite Anthropologie sweaters just to remind her who's boss, but other than those little skirmishes she's pretty clear on who's in charge.

Your owner seems very cool and I'm sorry to hear she finds Chester cute. Humans can be so emotionally tied to cute things sometimes. It's one of their weaknesses.

Lovely to meet you!

Dawn Simon said...

Hee! Hee!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Thistle, it is hard living with a human. Gypsy, my feline princess, will tell you that I, too, am a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

But in the end, we're worth it, Roland

Anonymous said...

hehehe a few fries short of a Happy Meal... love it, Roland :o)

JustJoan said...

Love this post Dawn!
Hope everyone at your house is well. I haven't seen you around town lately.
Happy Summer! Happy 4th!

Hema P. said...

Love this post, Dawn! You have a great sense of humor. (Did you read Sharon's post with a similar point of view?) You should look into making this into a full-fledged novel!

Loved the pictures of Thistle, Pepper and of course Chester :).